Back to School: Bliss or Burden?
Back to school can come with a slew of mixed emotions for many parents. For some, the break from summer energetic chaos is well welcomed. For others, the busy schedule of back to school can feel overwhelming and claustrophobic. Let’s dive in.
Parenting is a challenge, no doubt, and it seems just as we’ve begun to figure our kids out and get a good routine going, something changes and we’re back at the drawing board. I want to especially discuss parents with anxiety, ADHD or another neurodivergence. For these parents strict routines and the daily tasks can feel overwhelming, almost paralyzing. Some of us prefer to flow in the moments and others prefer a strict schedule, so what can we do to navigate the demands of the school year?
Firstly, breathe. You’re a good parent and doing a great job. I’ve got a backgroud in child psychology and thought I’d have it all figured out, but guess what? I don’t. We’re all just out here doing our best, adapting as we go, and learning to compromise. Here are some ways to make back to school work for you.
Prioritize - all families are different, but what is important to YOUR family? Is it sleeping in on Saturday making pancakes or getting up early to hit the farmer’s market? Maybe each week it’s different. By knowing your expectations, we can shed some of the guilt of the “shoulds”. You know the one, the we “should” be doing xyz. Know what matters to you, and focus on that, we can’t do everything at once.
Balance - If you try to do all the activities, you risk burnout and exhaustion, or worse sickness. Balance a busy day out with a movie night in. Check in with yourself and your family, are you have an energetic day or a tired day? Plan accordingly.
Flexible Routines - Routines are difficult for some as we would much rather go with the flow and can feel stifled by strict plans. We don’t need to schedule our days by the minute, but a flexible schedule can help. I like to set “tasks” for the day, and then they can be done however the day progresses. If I spend the morning hyperfixating on work, the oil change can come later in the day. Let your focus work for you.
Schedule Little Tasks - It’s the little things that are hard to remember sometimes like how often to mop the floor, reordering vitamins, etc. Something that helps is to use a calendar reminder, set it up to repeat, this way you’ll know when it’s time and can fit it into the schedule around that time. Remember to be flexible. Schedules can feel rigid, but the real goal is efficiency so we can spend more quality time with our kids.
Quality Time - Ok so we can’t spend literally every moment out seizing the day, but on the same token spending all day every Saturday doing laundry while your kid watches TV isn’t it either. (PS this was totally me for a minute until I realized this wasn’t working). It’s ok to do activities as a family like folding clothes or making a meal, and then express the fun activity that can be done after, like a board game. If you need to do a solo activity, try to choose a mindful activity for your child as well like a craft or workbook.
Self Care - If there’s something every parent needs, it’s self care. We care so much for our family that sometimes we need to pour into ourselves as well. A bath once a week, a face or hair mask, pedicure, or using a massage roller can make a big difference in feeling well. Even a nice warm cup of tea in the evening can feel rejuvenating. Find what makes you feel at peace and try to engage in it at least weekly. No matter how small, don’t be shy to put it on the calendar either, a month from know when you’ve completely forgotten, you’ll be glad you did!
Be Well!